white people

there are a number of different things going on in my life right now. and where i want to write about them all, i also don't. i dunno. it's like...i dunno. um...i dunno.

however, i will write about white people.

some, mainly momo, will immediately argue that i can't write about white people, because i don't know anything about white people. and thats true. i grew up in blacklanta, ga. i went was risen in an all-black church, attended all-black schools, lived in an all-black neighborhood, and graduated from an historically black college (morehouse shoutout). from birth to 21 years old, i can count the number of white people whom i knew personally. and actual white friends (which i didn't get until i went to cali for 3 months at 18 years old), i could count on one hand. lets see: peter, krista, laura (my boss), and becky. there was also adrian, but halfway through the summer i found out that he was actually chicano.

the reason why i write about white people now though, is because i had to check my mom today about the white culture and my experience with it. to be more specific, and to stop beading around the bush, i'm looking for an apartment now, and believe that i have found one uptown. initially i was looking for a one-bedroom (nothing beats privacy), but since then, i've realized that i had to stop being ignorant and start looking for places that were looking for roommates. hell, everywhere i looked i had to pay at least 3100 to move in. and thats best case scenario. so i found this place uptown (151st street and broadway) and was excited about it. it is a 4-bedroom spot, in a huge pre-war building, with over 60 apartments filled with young professionals and grad students (columbia university is nearby). it's near a local train and a express train and is 3 blocks from the river that seperates ny and jersey. and for those that don't happen to live in new york, i apologize for the jargon. so let's just say that it's a nice spot.

so i tell my mom about it - how i have a large room, a good grocery store is on the corner, a park is down the street, and it's $875 a month - and she askes me about the roommates. so i say, "yeah, there are three guys living there as well, they seem pretty cool, and i need to meet more people up here anyway". so sje asks a few more random questions, and then gets to the question she really wanted to know, "so, are they white guys?" i tell her, "yeah, they're white".

she lets out a sigh.

so at this point, let me say that all of us are somewhat racist. we all have our preconcieved notions, blinding assumptions and overwhelming stereotypes that we try to hide but really can't. and who are we to help it? our country was built on the likes of racism. it's in our fabric. we just have to try to do the best we can.

so mom continues to start cussing me out about living with white people, stating that i don't know them, don't know how they are, don't know how they live, and etc. thank God it wasn't my dad, who has more to say about white people than one may like. and this isn't to say that either of them don't have white friends themselves, it's just...i dunno. i feel like a hippie trying to explain their crazy grandpappy to their jewish fiance'. to get back on the topic, after mom finished yelling at me about how much i don't know white people, i told her she was right. i don't know about white people. and so, i wish to learn. up here, up here in new york, i'm a minority. i'm not in blacklanta, georgia anymore. and i don't limit myself to the likes of harlem (which is going through gentrification anyway, so it really doens't matter). i can't live here in a protective bubble against "whitey" and expect to live comfortably. i have to coexist.

at the same time though, i can't be stupid enough to think racism is over.

but i also can't be the hypocrite that doesn't see it when it's being played on the other side of the fence. i'm not going to not live with these white guys because their white. because they stink, sure. because they watch kiddie porn together, sure. if they're gay and bring their boyfriends over for nights on end of loud passionate booty sex - yes, i'll leave then. but because they're white?

i have my preconceived notions to. i'm not unaware of that. but i can't let my assumptions dictate my actions. i can only allow them to make me more conscious of my surroundings and environment. to pay more attention to whats going on around me. to live within my means of venture and new experience.

as of now, i'm set to move in on wednesday. but alot can happen between now and then.