on the job

ok, i've been broken down. in all honesty, i try my hardest not to blog while i'm at work. i have papers to grade, lesson plans to write, classes to prepare for, grad school homework thats due in two hours, and a boatload of other stuff that i can't even remember right now. but i can't take it. i think of blogs in this place all day and can't write them. i get emails from people that tell me that they actually read my blog alot, and i feel bad for not providing new stuff. but it's not that i don't want to, it's just because i don't want to blog at work, i don't have the internet at home, and my friends won't let me come over because i keep clogging up their toilets. it's nothing personal, i just like eating dairy products. so for now, i'll hold off on alot of cussing and stuff because i'm not even sure if i can post this. hell, the system network on here won't even let me view my blogsite because of the content. so yes, i run the risk of having everything i put on here, seen by the administration, faculty and staff. in hindsight of this paragraph, i want to stop writing now.

but i can't. i have to blog what just happened. i have a classroom filled with young guys. they're good guys, for the most part, but a classroom full of 12 year old hispanic men nonetheless. anyway - my class genius came to me about an hour ago and asked me for woman advice and it blew me away!! "mr. wilborn, uh, what, uh, what do you do if, uh, you like a girl, and uh, you're afraid to tell her, because, uh, she's afraid, oh no, i mean, because you're afraid, and, uh, embarassed, to tell her, because, uh, she might tell other students and they may all laugh at you and, uh, then..."

"WOAH..." i said "wait a minute, slow down, i thought you stayed after class to tell me about the homework!" it took me off gaurd. but i knew it was coming. i was just hoping that the older male advice giving sessions didn't have to start with this kid. he's a nice guy though. he's just...a much more hispanic, nerdier, version of myself at his age. i wanted to tell him the truth so bad. i wanted to tell him, "kid, you're out of luck until you meet another nerd like you in your 20's or take a drunk cheerleader home from the highschool football game-after-party you weren't invited to." but i didn't tell him that. i told him half of a lie instead. "just, keep being a nice guy and i'm sure she'll notice you soon enough".

hope. i've never been so much of a asshole and a good man at the same time in my life.

he's a smart guy though. who knows, he may get they girl after all. the relationship will last for a week and she'll use him to do her homework, play in his hair and eat the food his mother makes him for lunch - but hey, if thats what he wants, good for him. in the meantime, i have two four page papers to type, and where i did have 45 minutes to do them, i now only have 12. and 11 of those minutes will be spent on facebook, aol, gmail, cnn, entertainment weekly, and staring at a wall.