two types of people: showers

i woke up friday morning, which is always a good thing, and sat up in bed. complete with eye boogers and morning breath, i commenced the usual hour-long battle with the snooze button. then, when it was very apparent that i could not stay in bed any longer, i dragged myelf to the shower, hoping to be refreshed before i went to babysit/teach. as i turned on the water and stood there for a moment though, i realized something very interesting...

there are two types of people in this world. hotup people and cold-down people.

the water is never how you want it. let's admit that off top. whenever you get in the shower, no matter how many times you've done it, no matter how many years you've lived in your home, no matter how good you think you've become at turning the knobs just right, it's never good enough. it's always too something. too hot. too cold. too strong. too weak. yet, for the purposes of this blog, and the fact that it's autumn, i'll work with the scenario of too cold water. the principality though, applies to all.

the first type of person is "hotup". this particular person gets in the shower and, after realizing that the water is too cold, proceeds to increase the hot water. this often adds more force to the water and inevitably makes it more hot. this type of person, in my opinion, is one that is most likely to add to situations. in the bar with their friends, they are the ones sure to add their two cents. they are the ones that instigate the fight between middle school kids. the "hotup" person tends to be the man that ends up in bed with your wife, or the woman that gets the free pair of shoes from the cute guy at Nine West.

the second type of person is "cold-down". this person gets in the shower and, after realizing the water is too cold, turns the cold down. (no, some people could not have guessed that - stop taking your intelligence for granted). this often takes away some of the force of the water and proceeds to make it less cold. this type of person is less agressive than the "hotup". they tend to be observers. rather than partake in the heated discussion in the bar with friends, they simply stand on the outside of the circle and laugh at the decently funny jokes. more like a chuckle though. don't let them fool you though, they still take action. although they are a little more conservative, they do not fail to get the job done. the "cold-down" person tends to be the man that no one knows anything about except for the fact that his penis is the size of a large squirrel, or the woman that wears her hair in a wrap and still get guys attention because she's "down to earth".

the last type of person, although not mentioned before, is the type that doens't give a fuck. this type of person doesn't bother to change the water at all because they are too busy masturbating to morning shower daydreams. they don't bother to make toast, they just eat the bread and figure it's all coming out the asshole the same way. this is the person you don't see at arguing at the bar with their friends. instead, they are in the rear on their apple laptop checking stock quotes and sipping green tea, writing an haiku in their mind. this is the man that lives next door, with the better lawnmower and obidient children; or the woman that sends a letter to her high school reunion, telling the whole class to fuck off, and enclosing a nude picture to show that she's got a better body than any other woman there.

this is what i thought of in the shower this morning. so...with all that said...go get clean.