nospace

so as i was teaching the kids the other day, a student raised her hand for me to come over. we were covering a pretty heavy topic, and so there was alot of handraising going on during the assignment beckoning for me to come help. however, when i got to her table, her and her little croonies didn't want my help at all. they wanted to know if i was on Myspace. i actually had to smile. "what do these kids know about myspace," i thought to myself, "yeah, i've got a page, but i'll be damned if i tell them that." i didn't have to respond though. the ring leader quickly responded for me, "yeah, you've got a Myspace page mr. wilborn, i bet you do, and when i get home, i'm going to search for you and find you."

needless to say, by this i was taken aback.

"what? you get on Myspace??" i retorted.
"yeah, all of us are," she said, referring to the rest of her little girl group, "all we have to do is lie about our age."

15 minutes later the bell rang for lunch. the moment they left class, i called a friend of mine and gave them my name and password to my Myspace account and had it closed.

and it's like that all the time! it's ridiculous! i can't do anything. i'm safe nowhere. just the other day, a kid yelled out "hey mr. wilborn!" as i was walking around in harlem. i teach them in brooklyn!!! what they hell are they doing an hour away from home! i feel like they're watching me everywhere. in the park, at the movies, out to eat. little eyes watching my everymove. all the time, i'm bumping into them and their devilish grins. some look away, afraid i'll talk to their parents. others stare and grin, daring me to say or do something that they can talk about at school. "guess what i saw mr. wilborn doing saturday night? throwing up in a trash can!! HAHAHAHA!" you see, shit like that shouldn't be taking place in our society.

there is no space for teachers anywhere. we are who we are 24/7. always conscious of the fact that there is a high chance we will walk into someone in which we have to keep a certain level of dignity. unfairly, we are often pegged as role models or people of great moral standing because of the impressions we leave on today's youth. for some, we are the only examples they have. for many of my students, i am their first male teacher. and for even more students, i am their first black male teacher. and where that's all well and good, and i accept that responsibility as i must, now you're telling me i can't enjoy the fruits of recent internet trends? i can't buy honest pornography from the corner guy hustling bootlegs on 125th? i can't sing showtunes in times square after snorting cocaine off the back of a chinese prostitute on a school night?? is that what my job requires of me? did i miss that in the fine print somewhere??? huh????!

fuck investment banking.