lunch (down the line)

i stayed up until about 2am last night doing grad school work that i should have done last week during my winter break. one may ask, do i wish i could go back in time and make last week more productive? allow me to tell that asshole, bluntly, no. we, as a species, have to move away from the mindset that doing nothing is such a bad thing. lions are king of the jungle, and what do they do? what spreadsheets do they create? what clothes do they wash? none. they just eat antelope, have kids, and sleep. circle of life. and as always, i digress. the fact of the matter is that i am determined to make "productive time" productive time, and "chill time" chill time.

my priorities for this year are "God, Responsibilties, Desires". seems simple huh. it's not. what i like about this system is that specific events fall under various cateogories. case-point: there was a gospel concert i wanted to go to last sunday, but i had grad school work to do. therefore, i had to acknowledge that the concert was not God, but Desire, and that my work took priority as Responsibilty. but that's just me. i think i just digressed again. damn.

you see, it's hard for me to concentrate right now, for at this very moment, i am in class. the teacher is talking, a few people are taking notes, and i think someone may even be participating. who knows. i'm within the large majority of this tech class that is blogging, facebooking, myspacing, banking, imdbing, and booking flights to hawaii (the distinguished lady sitting to my left - shout out). and although 97% of us are not paying attention, we all have managed to have our books on the right page. i don't even know if she knows none of us are paying attention. i don't think she cares. i don't think i do either.

in staying up until 2am though, to complete all the God-forsaken work (one reason why Responsibilty is number 2), i woke up tired - dead to the world. and although i felt like crap, the day went pretty smooth. i had a big breakfast on my 2nd period prep period, which afforded me the opportunity to work through. then, hungry, i come to class - late - and find out that we're having pizza right after the session. it was great. what was even better was the conversation that took place on the way to our second night class. during this convo with several classmates and myself, i was informed that EVERYBODY in the class was sucking. not turning in work, half-doing assignments, not coming to class. it was awesome! i mean, i thought it was just me!!
hell, i'm actually doing better than a good number of the class.

and so, i was brought to a recent conversation from wes, corey, and franklin. for a long time i was anxious to get to grad school. i always figured it was such an adult place. one of scholarly effort. one of great minds. one of superb lectures and intriguing dialogue. and the truth is, that it is that. but as my cuzns pointed out - it's not a big deal. nothing is. every action that we think of in our future is forseen in glimpes, glimpes that exemplify the very essence of the moment. the very epitome of the emotion of that given time. and really, for all intents and purposes, once you get to the future, it's then the present. and then you very likely feel the way you do right now. lauren hill and donnie hathaway put it best. passed the initial hype, "everything is everything" - and always will be.

class is letting out now. i might go grab a meal.