mimi

on my way to my grandmother's funeral this week, i sat on an airplane with things on my heart to say. my hope was to have the opportunity to speak at the wake, or at the recession or something. but it was too much to organize in my head. so i wrote it.

when i landed, i walked in the door, greeted everyone, and found my dad preparing the program for the funeral. i asked for a moment of his time and then handed him what i had written, and after reading it, it placed me on the funeral program right then and there. being much more than i expected, i took the assignment and delivered the following words:

When we were younger, my brother, my sister and I would spend a lot of time at Mimi and Papa’s house. After some time, Mimi and Papa’s house became a refuge for us. It was a place where I could I could be glued to the TV, Love could play with her pink doll house, and where…where Frank could burn things.

And every Saturday – each and every Saturday – Mimi would take it upon herself to make cheese eggs, jelly toast, and Oscar Myer bacon. Now, at that time in my life, I could sleep a Saturday on until noon – 1’oclock, and so you would think that all of this food would be gone by time I woke up. But…even after Papa had eaten, Love and Frank had eaten, guests and family had come over to the house, and they had eaten; even after all of that – I would walk upstairs and find a plate on the stove, under a paper towel, where Mimi had saved my food.

And that became a thing after a while. Sometimes Papa ate cereal and Frank and Love fixed something else – but I would always wake up and find that one plate on the stove under a paper towel. Cheese eggs, jelly toast, and Oscar Myer bacon. I tried to refuse it once and she almost started crying. “You mean, you don’t want it baby?” And so I HAD to eat. Even when she got a little older and it started coming out burnt – “no Mimi, no, no, I’ll eat it…” And so I ate that burnt bacon and that crunchy toast. That was our moment...

I bring this story up – because my grandmother was a woman of overwhelming dedication and meticulous routine. She was a woman of procedure and order. A woman that took pride in everything she did, in the most humble manner possible. She was the type of woman you could say “always” for. She would always smell good. She would always pinch you for acting up in church. She would always show respect to others. She would always stand by her husband. She would always support her family. She would always wear high heel shoes that were bad for her feet. She would always have candy in her little church pouch. And at 1’oclock pm, she would always have the television on Days of Our Lives – “like sand through the hour glass, so are the days, of our lives!”

So, you have to forgive me, if you don’t see me mourning. For over the past few years I saw a woman that was driven by commitment and dedication, whither into little girl bound by the limitations time inevitably brings. You have to forgive me, if you don’t see me sad. For recently, I have seen the essence of beauty fade behind the curtains of tired eyes. You’ll have to forgive me today for my lack of grief, my shortage of sympathy, my absence of bitterness, my void of sorrow, my deficiency of confusion, my scarcity of anger, my deprivation of frustration – Forgive Me – But last week my grandmother was struggling to breath and this week she’s with God!!

And she never missed a beat. Never lost her spirit.

She is no longer limited. No longer told what she can’t do, what she can’t eat, where she can’t go, how she can’t live. No longer is she bound to the restrictions of this world, but free in another!

Free from hurt! Free from pain! Free from the suffering! Free from being lovesick! Free to smile when her children smile and cry when her children cry - all her children! Now she can shine when the sun shines and bring warmth to each of our hearts.

Bound no more, she can stand by her husband. She can support her family. How can I be upset when I know that she’s with me now more than she ever was before; with us now when before she couldn’t be. How can I be sad, when I know she’s free.
Cheese eggs, jelly toast, and Oscar Myer bacon, is the only meal I know how to cook.

I thank God for the time she was here. And in death, giving her everything she ever wanted in life. She’s at peace.

Thank you to all of you that have shown your support over the past week. And thanks to Corey, Nikita, Jimmy, and Franklin that even suggested that I put this tribute on the blog. She is indeed, at peace.