baby hands

we all want to reach something.

i had my 15-month old nephew on my back as he was reaching for the ceiling fan. it wasn't on. he was stretching his arm out and making a little grunting noise. i had noticed him do this earlier and didn't think much of it then. but at this moment, when he was on my back, i felt i should help him with his goal. so i lifted him up and he touched the blade. he played with it in his fingers for a minute, pushing it back and forth, to and fro. then, satisfied with my assistance, i took him down. i set him on the floor.

then he cried.

he screamed at me and yelled to the top of his tiny little voice. i tried to pick him up to where he was before, he still cried. i set him back down, he still cried. cried. cried. cried. the truth is, he wanted the fan. he wanted to touch it again. i know though, that no matter how many times i helped him, he would always want it again. at that moment, looking at him as he stared up at me screaming, i was sorry i ever did it.

sometimes we don't get what we're reaching for because we can't handle touching it yet.