coming back

3 or two years ago, I had a relatively successful blogsite. it was simply called "Reggie" (journals.aol.com/rwilb208/Reggie) - help yourself. the problem, which i may or may not avoid here, was that it got boring. i started writing and after a while gathered a little audience. due to that audience, i had to watch what i said. i had to be considerate. on the contrary, when i started the first few blogs, it was raw and uncomprimising about who or what i put on display. i hung out ex-girlfriends, classmates, personal desires and frustrations. the moment it leaked into my everyday life, it became an issue.

female classmates walked up and asked if i was alright after i published that my girlfriend and i broke up. offered a shoulder, a teleohone call. all but one spent her time talking about the love they lost two years ago. that one was a over-sexual lesbian.

strangers walked up to tell me "thank you" for pulling a giant peice of metal out of a busy highway.

a friend of mine found out i was interested in his girlfriend.

teachers were prescribing ways to help constipation. of those, i found that pinching your nose, rocking on a toilet seat, drinking lighter fluid, eating month-old peach pie, goggling spoiled milk, bathing in honey, and counting backwards are all forms of psyching yourself into shitting. two of those worked.

i became ify about the things i put into the public, but i didn't stop. even reading over some of them over the last few years, i never wanted to really stop. but the truth is, i did stop. so now, 3 or two years later, i have decided to stop stopping. i have started a new life, in a new city. i have finished undergrad and have begun grad school work. and now there's a job. income. my own place complete with neighbors and friends. there will be much to right about. but mostly, from then to now, the most important change is my frame of mind. life is a summation of experiences within a given time frame. the fraction or ratio of time and what you do with it. the experiences that have shaped my life over the last several years have undoubtedly molded my mind to what it is now. my experiences from hence forth will mold it into what it will be.

we are forever changing into the person we will never fully become.

and thus, i will start...